Overcoming Emotional Blackmail

Emotional Blackmail is something we often go through without understanding that it's actually blackmail.  We have all been victims of emotional blackmail at one point of our life. Parents blackmail children, children blackmail parents, siblings blackmail siblings and couples blackmail each other. Emotional blackmail comes in every sphere of life but today I'll give you practical steps that helped me overcome it and is still helping me and I believe it will equally help you overcome it as well. To be honest, one of the most difficult things to do is to say NO to the ones you love but you need to understand that saying NO at times is not lack of respect or love.




To proceed, let's understand the meaning of emotional blackmail from dictionary definitions for further clarity. 
Emotional is an adjective derived from Emotion which is a noun. Emotion is a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
While Emotional is:
1 relating to your feelings or how you control them
2 making people have strong feelings
3 having strong feelings and showing them to other people, especially by crying or showing your weaknesses.
4 influenced by what you feel, rather than what you know.
We all have emotions and we do get emotional but it is wrong to be an emotional fool, don't always let your feelings control your action.


Therefore; Emotional Blackmail as defined by Cambridge Dictionary; is the act of using a person's feelings of kindness, sympathy, or duty in order to persuade them to do something or feel something:
For instance, you brought a lady home to introduce her to your mum as the woman of your dream and because your mum hates her tribe she threatens to commit suicide if you go ahead to marry her. Blackmail!


When I was much younger, I did lots of things as a result of emotionally blackmail but now that I'm an adult emotional blackmail doesn't work with me any longer because I've mastered how to deal with it and overcome it. Now, when you try to get me to do something by trying to get me emotional, I just smile and politely say am sorry it won't work. This is because people like to get what they want out of others by any means necessary, they often blackmail their loved ones with emotions and most times you don't even know that you are been blackmailed to dance to their tones. We can be emotionally blackmailed by our partner, parents, children, siblings, friends, colleagues, or anyone we’re close to without ever realising what’s going on and most times even the blackmailer doesn't understand it's blackmail. Yes! It happened a lot with me until I matured and understood that it isn't right for people to manipulate me to get what they want from me. In every relationship demands are made, expectations are to be met and responsibilities shared and at some point, in fact, we make sacrifices for the people we love and there's nothing bad about that but using emotional blackmail to get people to do what you want is not proper at all.

How I Overcome Emotional Blackmail
1. I don't let those words get to me anymore. I keep to what I know is right and not what I feel is right.
2. I listen and then politely give reasons why it won't work out the way you want it. I say NO with a smile.
3. I don't let anyone make me feel guilty because I know I have been responsible and obedient enough.
4. I make sacrifices when necessary.
5. I always pray and listen to the Holy Spirit, if am wrong, He will make it known to me, then I do the needful.

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