Bonding Wrongly is Dangerous

The ultimate trauma in life is divorce. What notifies divorce is violence because divorce is a violent act.
Anytime you talk to someone you create a bond. Bonding is a dangerous word. Bonding is like shooting webs at each other like a spider web. Everytime you speak to someone you shoot a web, everytime they listen to you, they get a web and the more you talk to someone the more webs are created. The thicker the conversation gets the thicker the web becomes. 
Each time I say good morning to you and you say good morning back there is a web between us but it's a very shallow bond. If I say good morning, how are you doing, how are your children/how is your family? That's a deeper bond.  If I ask a question like, what do you want to do with your life in the next 20 years? That's a deeper bond, am prying into your destiny. If I ask; what's the one thing that really hurt you the most in life? that's a deeper bond. Knowing this; 
You have to be careful whom you bond with and what questions you ask because there are certain relationships you want to keep at a thin level, you don't want to get too deep. If you are married for instance, you have to be careful what you ask other people of the opposite sex because you don't want certain bonds to be connected or created. If you don't want to be serious about any relationship, don't get into deep questions because bonding starts with that. When you want to connect with serious bonds, let the person know as soon as possible. (Now I understand why defining a relationship is always emphasised). 

That's why marriage is so dangerous because marriage is not just bonding mentally, socially, psychologically and emotionally it involves the physical bonding which is sex, meaning "now I give you myself" and divorce tries to break that bond. The sad part is, you can never break a bond. Sometimes you might be bonding at that level outside marriage, you could be courting or dating someone for five years, you have isolated yourself from other people to bond with this person and that's deeper and serious bonding, it's almost like a marriage. When you decide to break up with that person you are trying to break the bond and you cannot break a bond, you can't even cut it, you have to tear it and that is called a "Broken Heart". A broken heart is bleeding bonds, they are open wounds, they are ripped from your emotion, from your spirit, from your psyche and that is why relationships are very dangerous, you don't want to develop at a level you don't want to be responsible for. 

That's why God says I hate divorce, divorce is traumatising. Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat". Violence often leads to divorce and God hates it!
Divorce it's the ripping off of two people's bond apart. No lawyer or judge can give you divorce, "IMPOSSIBLE"! What they give you is a piece of paper but they can't give you emotional separation and when kids are involved the bonds are twice thicker. Myles Munroe 
Before going into marriage, consider this; can I handle the ripping, the wounds that last for 10years or more should this person decide to leave me one day because each time I see him/her, the wounds come afresh and starts bleeding again, when I see our child/children or when they ask of the other parent. Can I handle the trauma of divorce or happily wait for the person am never going to break up with?

WAIT FOR THE RIGHT PERSON!
Exerted from Dangers of Bonding in Relationships by Myles Munroe 

LESSONS TO LEARN:
1. Anytime you sleep with someone, you have a deep bonding with the person. How many person's of different spiritual background have you bonded with in sexual immorality? That's why some children will never look like either of their parents because too many genes have been attracted by their parents when they were single.
2. Don't give serious attention to any opposite sex you know you won't want to have anything to do with.
3. Let people know the level at which you are relating with them always. 
4. Godly relationships should be kept as godly, brotherly love as brotherly.

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2 Comments

Gail said…
This is really wonderful! Thank you!
Peaceable Peace said…
You are welcome! Am glad you were blessed!