Being an African and a Nigerian has taught me a lot and I have seen a lot, and honestly most of our parents haven't done us much good.
Personally, am really tired of folks always sending messages on what we should teach our daughters not because am a woman myself but because I have come to realise that we Africans are one-sided or do I say we are myopic in most of our reasoning on how to bring up a child, we fail to balance out training.
I watch foreign movies and read books from other parts of the Continent and no other except Africa is always focused more on the girl child than the male. Even though there are parents in Africa that are doing the right thing but it's mostly 1 out of every 10.
Every time we receive messages on what we should teach our daughters but not our sons. Teach them this, teach them that, teach them this and that. Teach them to cook, to sweep, to be diligent, hardworking and to keep themselves for their husbands. These are not bad but why only the female child?
Are female children the only children we are to teach? What are we really teaching our sons? Because a good home requires proper upbringing from both sides, that is why our sons make mistakes and we don’t take it too hard on them later they become so irresponsible that they cause harm to the society via vices but any mistake made by the daughter is the highest of all, we will want to finish her with discouraging and insulting words.
So many girls lose their self-confidence due to upbringing and harsh scolding. You will marry ooo, don’t say that I didn’t train you ooo, we hear that a lot while growing up but no one ever tells the boy that he will marry and become somebody's husband as well and someone's father. Nobody tells him to keep himself for his wife.
Let’s go to the Word of God, the Bible, because as a Christian the Bible is my manual for life and my life principles are built on it alone. Did the Bible say, train up a girl in the way she should go? No! It says,
Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. (AMPLIFIED) Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will not depart from it. (MESSAGE) Point your kids in the right direction, when they’re old they won’t be lost.
The Bible keeps saying train a child or kid in the right direction not a girl neither an adult. (Some parents fail to train children but wants to train adults). Please we have focused so much on our daughters and we have ignored our sons, let’s concentrate on both daughters and sons. Let’s balance our training, let’s not ignore the proper upbringing of the male child as well as the girl child. Yes! the girl is more vulnerable to danger but don’t forget that the boys cause them these dangers or harm and we can reduce their vulnerability to dangers by teaching our sons. We teach our girls to keep their body before marriage, we teach them not to get pregnant as singles. Let’s also teach our sons that a girl can never become pregnant on her own, it takes an irresponsible young man to impregnate an irresponsible single girl or lady.
The girl should not be blamed alone. Let’s also teach our sons that it takes an irresponsible son to drop out of school, to use school fees for gambling and partying, it takes an irresponsible son to abuse drugs. Let’s teach our sons that a responsible husband helps the wife even with some house chores, it is not a crime, the woman must not work out herself every day.
Let’s teach our sons that a man is required to keep his virginity as well, it is not only our daughters that should abstain from sexual immorality. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies". This includes the male’s body, let’s teach them to be more caring.
Let’s teach them that they are to love their wives unconditionally and the wife is to submit unconditionally. Let's teach them to be more homely and assist in house chores. Let's raise responsible children in the society.
With love, Peaceable Peace Cares
Dedicated to all Parents especially Mothers
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